Mommy's Juice!: August 2015   

Monday, August 24, 2015

Why I Drink Wine

1. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
2. I own a 1 year old lab who enjoys chewing my shoes, eating my groceries and sleeping on top of my head.
3. Wine is cheaper than therapy.
4. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
5. It tastes good with the hot dogs I serve twice a week.
6. It also tastes good with burgers, tacos, french fries and my signature "pizza from the frozen foods section"
7. Health benefits, duh!
8. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
9. Wine tends to improve my dance moves, as well as my singing voice.
10. I have a job. Work makes me thirsty.
11. Lifting a wine glass is much easier than lifting a weight.
12. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
13. It's classy, well classier than Bud Light.
14. I find enjoyment in spinning the stem of my wine glass.
15. I don't have to mix things.
16. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
17. My lips and tongue look good with a little red tint.
18. I tend to be friendlier (or should I just say friendly) with a little juice in the belly.
19. It expands my creativity, just look at how amazing this post is!
20. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.

Why do  you drink wine? Let me know and CHEERS to you!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

45 Going On 3

Have I mentioned that I'm the mom of a 4-year old going on 17, a 7-year old going on 30 and a 45-year old going on 3. They don't need a mom, they need a parole officer! But unfortunately I don't have a criminal justice degree and really don't like the look of bars on my windows, so I guess the title "mom" will have to stay. 

"Dad" (ie the 3 year old) is helpful, in a "happy to fix that shower head," kind of way. What Dad is not, is responsible! Which has made this summer an utter nightmare for "mom." After an entire three months with two boys all over the place he still can't seem to remember basic essentials to summer parenting. Such as:

- Sunscreen is a necessary evil of sending your child outside
- A day at the swimming pool is not the equivalent of having a bath
- Camping is no excuse for not brushing your teeth for three days
- Beer is not for breakfast just because mom wants to have some time to herself
- When camp sends home a permission slip it needs to be signed, not left in your truck for two weeks

So while I've been packing lunches, sorting towels, tennis shoes or flip flops, making sure one kid hits the park by 8am and the other soccer at 10, Dad could be found in his man cave (ie our garage) hiding from what he doesn't know. Maybe I should consider that a blessing though considering I've got new shelves in the garage and the door handle is fixed! I guess we all have our talents.