Mommy's Juice!: Butt It's Spring Break!   

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Butt It's Spring Break!

I'm just guessing that for most moms spring break is a happy time. A time to spend time with your children that you don't normally have. To get to explore the things they have learned through the school year. To celebrate their accomplishments thus far. This was my image of my first spring break with a kindergartner.

So can someone please explain to me how this magical week ended with me close to a murder conviction and two kids with the biggest potty mouth I've ever heard??

Seriously, what the fu#% is funny about the constant repeat of words like: "butt" "penis" "boogers" "fart" and "crack." It starts with the 5 year old, rubs off on the three year old, and before I know it my 40-something year old husband is telling me he feels a fart exploding from his butt crack!

Here I was expecting an opportunity to explore how far he's come since his first day of school. Exploring what a great reader he's become! How well his addition & subtraction has come! How many sentences he can now say in Spanish!

But in the place of my hola's and adios' I was greeted with "butt cracks," and "stinky farts." I know my child is better than this! I know he's learned more this year than kids that eat boogers are gross. Where is my future Harvard Grad? Should I be worried he's more interested in bodily functions than body mass?

Maybe I should. Or maybe I should just look at spring break like I did when I was younger, a release from the mind, a release from the order, the party of the year!!!!!!  Or......for a five year old, the chance to say "butt" as many times as you can in one week!


  1. Boys are obsessed with bodily functions and making mom cringe. I have three 14,11 and 47. I raised them to be superior male beings but their hard-wiring makes them say things like" I showered last week whats the problem?" Hang in there sister the words change but you will be forever plagued by their need to shock and embarrass you.

  2. I hear you! Spring break is no picknick if you're the mom who has to hold it all together! I suggest you go on a Spring break yourself as soon as the kids are back in school!


  3. Oh, it's not just boys! My 5 year old daughter is the same way!

  4. LOL! Oh! I feel for you! lol! Last week was rough, even though I only had to care for my 3 year old. It was everyone else's kids that made me nuts! And yes, all the butt, penis, etc were flying all over the place!

  5. Do not worry! My boy says the same things. Maybe its just a phase.

  6. For some reason the male version of the species seems fascinated with talking about bodily functions. I'm not entirely sure this ever goes away. They start at a young age because that is the first time they are out of our influence for long periods of time. Don't worry about it. You'll get used to it. Glad you survived Spring Break.