Mommy's Juice!: April 2014   

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Taking One for the Team

Below you will find an actual email exchange between my boss and I that took place last week when I noticed that my favorite band, Pearl Jam, would be headlining the ACL Festival this fall. 

From: Me
To: Him
Subject: Fwd: The 2014 Lineup Is Here

I think I need to go do some research at this one!

From: Him
To: Me
Subject: RE: The 2014 Lineup Is Here

What and leave your family behind?

From: Me
To: Him
Subject: RE: The 2014 Lineup Is Here

YES, just this once I would take one for the team.

From: Him
To: Me
Subject: RE: The 2014 Lineup Is Here

Your work ethic is admirable. 

Do you think that was sarcasm? I think it just might have been. My guess is the root of his sarcasm is coming from the fact that I recently asked for a more flexible schedule so that I could spend more time with my family. Which I was very generously granted. Little did I know at that time that PEARL JAM would be playing at a Festival I've wanted to go to for years!! And because I actually work for an organization that puts on music events, I think it is the perfect opportunity for me to do some research. 

So yes, I do want to take one for the team!! Yes, my work ethic is admirable! And yes, he told me no.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Butt It's Spring Break!

I'm just guessing that for most moms spring break is a happy time. A time to spend time with your children that you don't normally have. To get to explore the things they have learned through the school year. To celebrate their accomplishments thus far. This was my image of my first spring break with a kindergartner.

So can someone please explain to me how this magical week ended with me close to a murder conviction and two kids with the biggest potty mouth I've ever heard??

Seriously, what the fu#% is funny about the constant repeat of words like: "butt" "penis" "boogers" "fart" and "crack." It starts with the 5 year old, rubs off on the three year old, and before I know it my 40-something year old husband is telling me he feels a fart exploding from his butt crack!

Here I was expecting an opportunity to explore how far he's come since his first day of school. Exploring what a great reader he's become! How well his addition & subtraction has come! How many sentences he can now say in Spanish!

But in the place of my hola's and adios' I was greeted with "butt cracks," and "stinky farts." I know my child is better than this! I know he's learned more this year than kids that eat boogers are gross. Where is my future Harvard Grad? Should I be worried he's more interested in bodily functions than body mass?

Maybe I should. Or maybe I should just look at spring break like I did when I was younger, a release from the mind, a release from the order, the party of the year!!!!!!  Or......for a five year old, the chance to say "butt" as many times as you can in one week!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

My Agent of Change

Happy Earth Day Everyone! I'm taking the morning off from work today so that I can go to Jackson, my kindergartner's, Earth Day Parade. The entire Elementary School will be marching through the streets of our small Colorado Town singing their Earth Day song in unison. The song that Jackson has been practicing for the last two weeks. The song that I can only get out of my head when the kids decide to watch Frozen for the millionth time and I am lucky enough to replace Earth Day song with the horrific melody of "Let it Go." Why, oh why Disney have you done this to parents across the world???

But back to the Earth Day song. One day Jackson came home and just started belting out this catchy tune:
"We've got the power. We are the future. We are the agents, agents of change. We know the problems. We've got solutions. We are the agents, agents of change." 

As I was listening to the lyrics I felt a bit of pride. Here is my 5 year old son letting the world know that he has solutions to our problems! He is going to make a change! He is our FUTURE!!!! If I'd only known then that I was going to have to spend my morning standing on the side of the street listening to 500 kids sing those words I might not have been so excited, but at the time my son's brilliance was sure to save the planet.

What surprised me the most about this now hated song that never leaves my head except when Frozen is on, was the stark difference in the message my son is learning in kindergarten vs. the messages that were engraved in my kindergarten mind. Messages like: GRADUATE! I feel like not dropping out of school and getting your high school diploma was the most important thing in the entire world when I was 5, when I was 7, when I was 12, and even more urgently in my teen years. My teachers weren't telling us we could change the world, they weren't even suggesting we consider college yet! The high school drop out rate in the area I grew up in was so high that they literally just wanted to make sure we stuck around long enough to get a diploma in our hands. 

I'm not even sure if Jackson knows what a high school diploma is. But I do know that he has solutions! Solutions for change!!! And I'd say that motivation is a lot more likely to lead him to GRADUATE from high school, GRADUATE from college, and who knows, maybe just save the world!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

That There Clark is an RV

It's official, I am a Redneck! Don't get me wrong, this is actually a fact I've been well aware of for many years. Maybe it has something to do with growing up in a town with not one single stoplight. Or maybe it has something to do with the way my family says certain words:
Monday = Mondee
For = fer
Beer = Bud

Yet, I've always tried to rise above the redneck blood pulsing through my veins. I drink wine that doesn't come out of a box. There is meat in my freezer that I didn't personally kill. And my curtains come in colors different from camouflage.

And yet, when I sat with friends at a fundraiser for the kid's daycare last Friday night and they began to tell my husband and I how they were selling their pop-up camper for an upgraded version I thought to myself, "what a fabulous addition for our family." With a pop-up we are certain to camp more, spend more time together, and create more memories for our children that they will cherish.

Three days later we took a look at the pop-up and agreed to purchase it. So excited I called my parents to let them know of our new purchase. Immediately my dad (a redneck and damn proud of it) laughs, making fun of his new redneck grandchildren. I jokingly told him when we hit the campgrounds I'd throw Travis out of the camper with no shirt on and a Budweiser in his hand to guarantee our spot. Dad says, "oh no, you're an RV owner now, he'll have to drink PBR." At this comment I nearly choked!!! Why you ask? Because, all kidding aside, when we went to look at the RV the owner came out with a PBR in his hand!! Coincidence? I don't think so!

Regardless, I'm excited about our new purchase and the adventures our family will take. And if my kids come out of these adventures declaring that "On Mondee they'll be reddy fer a Bud," well so be it!

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Grab A Glass & Join Me!

Anyone there???? It's been a long time since I visited this spot. Funny how you can just be going along with your day to day and then realize, wait something's missing here. What has been missing for me lately is this little blog I call my release. Release from my full-time job, release from my two little devils, release from the constant comings and goings of a day.

I actually didn't realize this was what was missing until one morning last week. For once I actually had a few minutes to kill before running out of the house to a meeting so I turned on the Today Show. Sipping coffee I heard from the television the words "mommy's juice." Hey, wait a minute, I'm Mommy's Juice! The report I was overhearing was about a rise in the trend of mother's who drink (DUH) and how common it is now for children's playgroups to include a bottle of wine for the moms (just one??), hence, "Mommy's Juice."

Well no way in hell am I going to let Matt Lauer steal my thunder. I am Mommy's Juice and just because I took a little unintended break doesn't mean I don't have a boat load of ridiculous stories to share with the world. So grab a glass of wine and get ready for a few well deserved laughs, tears and blurred lines!

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