Mommy's Juice!: Never Trust a Psychic   

Monday, June 17, 2013

Never Trust a Psychic

Better yet, never visit one! If you do, I can promise you the visit will haunt you the rest of your life. I of course know this because in 1996 I spent five minutes with a complete stranger who somehow led to my sneaking out of the office the other day to pick up a pregnancy test, run to the hallway bathroom, pee on a stick, then sit there for five minutes certain I was about to see two lines appear.

In college a girlfriend and I rode way back into the Appalachian Mountains to visit the local psychic. For just $10 she would grant you three questions and word of mouth was she was pretty good at it. A junior in college at the time I was in a place where I had no idea what the future held. So I kept my questions general, looking for just a small glimpse into my wide open future.

Amazingly, I can't remember what I had for dinner last Thursday, but I can remember almost verbatim what she told me that day:

1. What will I chose as a career?
Her answer: You will start down a road in your career and quickly change directions. This change in direction will start the career you will continue for the rest of your life.
The result: Immediately after college I started working in the hospitality business, specifically in catering. Eleven years ago I moved into PR/Marketing position and haven't left since.
So far, so good!

2. How many children will I have?
Her answer: Two boys and a girl.
The result: Two boys down and a girl to go! Well at least that is what I still believe thanks to that day. Although my husband and I have no plans to add another child I am still convinced there is no birth control on the planet that will stop this from happening. Hence why I am hiding pregnancy test boxes in the bottom of the office trash can! Which by the way, was negative.
So far, I'm two/thirds of the way there!

3. When will I fall in love?
Her answer: You will fall in love three times in your life. The third will be your soul mate.
The result: Every single time my husband makes me angry I think to myself, "you're only number two buddy!"
So far, I haven't dumped him yet, but he better watch himself!

Do yourself a favor, save your $10. This is a torturous way to live!


  1. I've never seen a psychic before. Now I don't intend to! I'd spend my ten bucks on something better, maybe add it to my savings for one of those none-invasive tummy-tightening procedures.

  2. OMG, #3 is hysterical! I am always scared to go to a psychics! I have this deep rooted fear they are going to tell me I have no future and I'm going to walk out of there and get hit by a bus or something. LOL!

  3. LOL this is hillarious. I have never visited with a physic and don't plan on it.

  4. That would be so fun actually! I've never been to one, but the last one is a bit of a damper;)

  5. LOL! I like #3! She sounds like a fortune cookie! lol! Psychics freak me out. One, because they're weird, and 2 if they did have some futuristic powers, I honestly believe it's inspired by the evil one. No offense to anyone, but that's my freak out zone.

  6. I never went to one. but my college roommate was into it too, and I almost went with her one time, but I was to scared - lol

    I guess they can be pretty accurate - lol

    Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

  7. HAHAHA! Love how "immediately" turned into 11 years! So glad we found you through the TGIF linkup!

  8. Touche. Sound arguments. Keep up the good work.

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