Thursday, December 13, 2012
Bet My Night SUCKED Worse Than Yours!
My husband has been out of town since Monday night for work. Leaving me with the little monsters on my own. He wasn't supposed to get back until tonight, but after hearing from me yesterday evening he immediately hopped in the car and drove home. Mommy was at the breaking point! And here is why:
I had to leave work early yesterday to take Jackson to the Dr.. The previous night he told me he was getting some tissue to blow his nose, he then returned to the living room to inform me the tissue was STUCK in his nose. After attempts at removal I successfully pushed the tissue even further up and decided medical assistance was my best bet.
It took two nurses to hold down my screaming 4-year old while the doctor removed the intrusion, leaving me near tears and fully on edge. The doctor also informed me that he had swimmer's ear and sent me to the pharmacy, both children in tow, to pick up a subscription. At the pharmacy my little darlings decided to "change-up" some of the displays of medicines, further pushing Mommy to the edge.
Upon arrival at home I had a nice glass of wine on my mind as I went to get the boys out of the car. Immediately after I took Trey's (my almost 2 year old) seat belt off he jumped into the front seat. I shut his door and headed to driver's side to let him out that way. Too late!! In the seconds it took me to get there he had already locked the doors. Panic began to creep as I realized not only were my keys still in the car, but my husband was four hours away with the other set of keys.
Apparently 911 doesn't respond to such emergencies unless the child is in distress. Since Trey was literally laughing at me from the other side of the window as he was pretending to drive away, I assumed this wasn't distress and was told to call a locksmith.
Twenty minutes later the locksmith arrives. At this point Trey is no longer finding the humor in his predicament and is crying hysterically in the car. Again, Mommy is near breaking point but thinking that my glass of wine isn't that far off in the future. That is until I met my locksmith, who arrived completely WASTED! Slurring words, repeating sentences, the man was a mess! After multiple attempts he was able to unlock the car and then asked if we could go inside and handle the payment. Another twenty minutes later he was still in my living room, playing with my dog, asking me about my neighbors and reeking of booze!! I literally had to open the front door as he was still standing in my kitchen and say, "you can go out this way." Which he finally did, yet still hung out in the front yard with the dog for a few more minutes.
Totally at the end of my rope by this point I realized Trey was so scared in the car that he had actually pooped his pants. Bath time! I cleaned him up and put both boys in the bath. Realizing I had a free moment I ran into the kitchen to pour the glass of wine destined to calm my nerves. Only to hear a screeching "MOOOOMMMMYYY" coming from the bathroom before the final drops hit the glass.
I returned to find that Jackson had diarrhea in the tub! All kids out, all toys out, full on clean up in motion. Kids back in, fill again, back to the wine glass. "MOOOMMMMYYY!!" DAMN IF HE DIDN'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!
By the time the mess was re-cleaned, the children re-cleaned, and Mommy near tears, I go into the living room to put on the kid's jammies and find Trey pissing in the middle of the floor. Seriously, seriously, seriously.
I did finally get a chance to drink my glass of wine, and a few after that. The husband came home shortly after I put the kids to bed, sympathetic, yet with a grin. I supposed I would be grinning too if the shoe had been on the other foot. BUT IT WASN'T!