Mommy's Juice!: Bet My Night SUCKED Worse Than Yours!   

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Bet My Night SUCKED Worse Than Yours!

My husband has been out of town since Monday night for work.  Leaving me with the little monsters on my own.  He wasn't supposed to get back until tonight, but after hearing from me yesterday evening he immediately hopped in the car and drove home.  Mommy was at the breaking point!  And here is why:

I had to leave work early yesterday to take Jackson to the Dr..  The previous night he told me he was getting some tissue to blow his nose, he then returned to the living room to inform me the tissue was STUCK in his nose.  After attempts at removal I successfully pushed the tissue even further up and decided medical assistance was my best bet.

It took two nurses to hold down my screaming 4-year old while the doctor removed the intrusion, leaving me near tears and fully on edge.  The doctor also informed me that he had swimmer's ear and sent me to the pharmacy, both children in tow, to pick up a subscription.  At the pharmacy my little darlings decided to "change-up" some of the displays of medicines, further pushing Mommy to the edge.

Upon arrival at home I had a nice glass of wine on my mind as I went to get the boys out of the car.  Immediately after I took Trey's (my almost 2 year old) seat belt off he jumped into the front seat.  I shut his door and headed to driver's side to let him out that way.  Too late!!  In the seconds it took me to get there he had already locked the doors.  Panic began to creep as I realized not only were my keys still in the car, but my husband was four hours away with the other set of keys.

Apparently 911 doesn't respond to such emergencies unless the child is in distress.  Since Trey was literally laughing at me from the other side of the window as he was pretending to drive away, I assumed this wasn't distress and was told to call a locksmith.

Twenty minutes later the locksmith arrives.  At this point Trey is no longer finding the humor in his predicament and is crying hysterically in the car.  Again, Mommy is near breaking point but thinking that my glass of wine isn't that far off in the future.  That is until I met my locksmith, who arrived completely WASTED!  Slurring words, repeating sentences, the man was a mess!  After multiple attempts he was able to unlock the car and then asked if we could go inside and handle the payment.  Another twenty minutes later he was still in my living room, playing with my dog, asking me about my neighbors and reeking of booze!!  I literally had to open the front door as he was still standing in my kitchen and say, "you can go out this way."  Which he finally did, yet still hung out in the front yard with the dog for a few more minutes.

Totally at the end of my rope by this point I realized Trey was so scared in the car that he had actually pooped his pants.  Bath time!  I cleaned him up and put both boys in the bath.  Realizing I had a free moment I ran into the kitchen to pour the glass of wine destined to calm my nerves.  Only to hear a screeching "MOOOOMMMMYYY" coming from the bathroom before the final drops hit the glass.

I returned to find that Jackson had diarrhea in the tub!  All kids out, all toys out, full on clean up in motion.  Kids back in, fill again, back to the wine glass.  "MOOOMMMMYYY!!"  DAMN IF HE DIDN'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!

By the time the mess was re-cleaned, the children re-cleaned, and Mommy near tears, I go into the living room to put on the kid's jammies and find Trey pissing in the middle of the floor.  Seriously, seriously, seriously.

I did finally get a chance to drink my glass of wine, and a few after that.  The husband came home shortly after I put the kids to bed, sympathetic, yet with a grin.  I supposed I would be grinning too if the shoe had been on the other foot.  BUT IT WASN'T!


  1. WOW - I have had the kid locked in the car (with my dog Carrie Bradshaw)- lucky for me, the key was in a draw inside! I have had poop in the bath - lucky for me it was solid! What a bad day!!!! Glad the wine was there to rescue you!!!!

  2. You win.

    And I'm sorry that I laughed. The second round in the bathtub was funny though. Not funny haha to you, but funny as in, oh my gosh, I can totally picture it. ;)

    I hope you're feeling better today. Props to hubby for coming home. :)

  3. I feel for you! Hope things are better now that the husband's home. :)

  4. Wow, yep, I've been don't miss those days! But survived it right? I hope you had 2 glasses of wine(at least!) =)

  5. Holy moly, what a day! So glad hubby came to the rescue and that you managed to sneak in some much needed wine! This is the perfect story to tell at Trey's wedding one day :)

  6. Well, it sounds like it's your hubby's turn for the next 2 days(;

  7. Oh hunny...I haven't had a day like that in a few years, and boy do I feel you. Talk about being tested and pushed to the edge...I know if it were me blogging this story I'd be throwing around a few four letter words and mentioning that I had yelled so much my vocal chords broke.

    You survived it hun, with spades. I am so sorry because I know how to traumatic that can be and I'm happy to see you're in a place where you could unload a bit :)

    Take care girlie

  8. Oh dear Mommy! That day, you earned your halo! That was so bad, I bet you were able to laugh about it A FEW DAYS AFTER the fact. It almost seemed like everyone was purposefully trying to dream up the worst situation to present to you.

  9. You poor, poor thing. All of us parents have been there and totally feel for you! It's days like that when you wonder why you became a parent....that is until they do something cute or sweet and all the reasons cone flooding back to you!

    P.S. Thanks for linking up to the GTKY blog hop! :-)

  10. Oh man you definitely deserved the whole bottle of wine on that night wow!

  11. I was wondering how bad it could be. I have three kids. I've seen it all.

    Nope. That was bad. You poor thing! I'm glad your husband was able to come home and spell you.

  12. Oh wow, that was a long and very trying day. Kudos to you though for holding it all together. Just proof that kids really do keep you on your toes. Never a dull moment in parenting.

  13.  Hi, great post. I found you through the blog hop. Please stop  by and say hi when you get a chance.  .Be sure and check out my new Blog Hop that started. It's Weekly Goals Link Up. It's a great way to stay on track. Have a great day. :) Now following you.  Here's the link for it if you would like to check it out.