Mommy's Juice!: November 2012   

Monday, November 26, 2012

Creepy Candy

All it took was a four day holiday weekend with my family to realize, MY CHILDREN ARE TERRIBLE!! I'm not quite sure what has happened in the last few weeks, but these boys have literally gone from manageable with assistance from the occasional glass of wine TO manageable with the assistance from the frequent bottle(s) of wine!

It started immediately after I picked them up from daycare Wednesday. I attempted to take them out to dinner and ended up going home early soaking wet from the juice Trey spilled on me.  Thursday began with multiple time-outs for fighting, followed by the utter destruction of multiple rooms in the house and ending with a food fight at Thanksgiving dinner.

On to Friday, when attempts at shopping were overruled by screaming children.  Lunch at the local Mexican restaurant a battle of who got to sit on what side of the booth.  And a night led by a flooded floor created during bath hour.

By Saturday I was drinking wine on the couch playing Suduko on my phone and ignoring the fact that I even had children as they lay in front of me screaming at the top of their lungs over whose turn it was to count for hide and go seek.  They'll figure it out!

Church on Sunday included four trips "outside" during the sermon and a few chases around the pews.  By the time we got home I was close to the point of looking up "adoption" online when Jackson asked if we could get out some of the Christmas ornaments.  And there he was... right on top of the Christmas box... the answer to my prayers...Jackson's Elf on the Shelf!

My mom bought the elf two years ago when she came out for Christmas.  Now of course, I find this creature (which Jackson immediately named Candy) quite creepy, but yet, quite effective.  We pulled him out of his box and I read Jackson and Trey the book of how Candy will be watching them and reporting back to Santa on their progress.  To my complete shock, they started to behave!

Obviously it wasn't to last, but as soon as the slightest bit of mischief arrived in their eyes I would mention Candy and they would go back to being Angels.  At some points in the day I would notice Jackson looking around to see if he was in Candy's viewpoint.  It's like some secret weapon for mom's this doll!  It really does work!  That is until I caught Jackson hiding Candy under the sofa cushions specifically so he could do something bad.  But as long as I can find him, and point his creepy little eyes in the boy's direction, I think we'll be doing pretty good.  Until December 26th that is..... 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

"You Can't Run a Marathon"

It's official, the company I work for has been accepted as an official charity for a Rock n' Roll Marathon next October.  This is something we had been bouncing around the office for a few weeks, finally applying and being accepted.  When the idea initially came up I was quite excited.  My exercise routine lately has consisted of walks to the mailbox and the occasional game of tag at the park.  I was looking forward to the notion of having something to "train" for.

Upon first mentioning the marathon to my husband his immediate reply was laughter followed by, "You can't run a marathon!"

"Why not?"

"First of all, you don't know how to run.  (I do actually KNOW how to run.  I may look a little silly doing it, but I KNOW how!")  Secondly, you'd never be able to run that far."

"I do.  I can.  And I will! I mean seriously what is it like 5 miles, anyone can do that."

Hysterical laughter from the hubby.  "You don't even know what a marathon is!  No, not 5 miles, 26 miles."

Long pause from me caused by utter shock of what my ears have heard!

Back at work, I begin my logical explanation of why it is I won't be able to join in on the marathon fun, leading of course with as a mom of two young children I certainly won't have time to train, even if the damn thing is a year away.  Never mind the fact that even if I did have the time I'd much rather spend it at Happy Hour!  But unfortunately we were too far down the road to marathon madness. And so it was decided that I would participate in the relay portion, taking my total mileage down from 26 to around 7.

Okay, I can do this.  Time to start training.  That weekend I put the tennis shoes on and hit the trail. Two miles later I return home so out of breath I can barely speak.  Jackson takes one look at me and says, "Mommy, you got a sunburn!"

Wish me luck people, I'm going to need it!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

My Baby Boy, A Future Oscar Winner

Talking with a friend at the kid's "playhouse" on Friday I was interrupted by an Earth rattling scream from Jackson followed by the explanation through hideously loud cries that his friend had sat on his arm.  He wouldn't move the arm and demanded I take him immediately to the doctor. To me, the arm looked perfectly fine. No bones sticking out at weird angles, no swelling, no bleeding. Yet Jackson insisted that it hurt so bad he couldn't even walk to the car.

Still not fully in belief that we had an emergency on our hands I carried him to the car and called the doctor to make a late afternoon appointment, which I informed them, would likely be cancelled assuming Jackson was "better" by then.  After arriving home Jackson spent four hours on the couch watching television and literally not moving the arm once.  So Momma gave in and to the doctor we went.  

To my utter horror, the doctor suggested that it felt like his arm may in fact have a break, and asked us to head over to the hospital for x-rays.  I literally couldn't have felt like a worse mother!  Why hadn't I believed him?  Why didn't I immediately take him to the emergency room after the first cry?  What kind of mother ignores her child's injuries?

The entire drive to the hospital my guilty conscious was throwing promises to the backseat: "How about after the hospital we go have dinner at any restaurant you want?"  "I promise you can have a piece of your Halloween candy as soon as the x-ray is taken?"  "Won't it be fun to color and paint your cast when we get home?"  I nearly cried as they were taking the x-rays and he screamed so loud that a technician from the front heard him and came back to help.  The guilt was overwhelming.  And then.....

As they went back to read the x-rays and Jackson and I were alone in the room he exclaims, "Mommy, these are the best doctors in the entire world, my arm is all better!!"  He then lifts it, twirls it, does push-ups with it, to prove to me that he has been saved.  The shock and horror on my face must have been evident as the technicians came back in the room.  Oh my how they laughed.  

I didn't laugh.  I don't even think I smiled.  I simply said, "we'll be on our way now, but don't be surprised if we are back soon."  The technician knew exactly what I meant as she replied, "when you actually do break his arm!"