Tuesday, August 28, 2012
The Day the Water Broke
Here's a story I've been saving. For what exactly I don't know. Maybe to save myself further embarrassment, or maybe to save until I had enough followers to fully appreciate it. Whatever the reason, I saved it, and now, at last, I share it: the day the water broke!
Exactly eight months and two weeks pregnant with my first child, I had gone into my check-up on a Monday and been informed that yes I was dilated, but only by a small fraction. "What does that mean," I asked? "It means you could go into labor tonight, or you could go into labor next month." Thank you modern science for such a reassuring answer.
Because I had gained so little weight, the thought of my going into labor early seemed extremely unlikely, to both myself and my doctors. So I left my appointment that day with little fear that anything monumental was soon to come.
The following day I woke up as usual and headed to work. Tuesday's were staff meeting day, and as I would do on any other Tuesday I headed over to the conference room at 10am to start the "most boring hour of the week." This Tuesday however would prove to be different thanks to the fact that the moment I sat down for the uneventful meeting I immediately felt what I knew had to be the break of the levee.
Trying not to make a scene in a staff meeting of 8 I turned to the co-worker next to me and quietly whispered, "I think my water just broke." In an attempt to save my pride she offered to go grab me a sweater to wrap around my waist so I could quietly leave the room. But by this point the levee wasn't leaking, it was a full on flood and no sweater would disguise the puddle surrounding me.
And so the announcement was made followed by a variety of screams including:
"I have a blanket in my car!"
"Who has leather seats?"
With me in the background crying, "this is so gross!!!!!"
Five minutes later my chair is rolled into the hallway with a blanket wrapped around my waist, a co-worker is outside speaking to a police officer on a bike, the only person with leather seats has pulled his truck up to the conference room door, and my boss is staring in shock at the office mangers breasts unable to speak a word due to his falling into a shock moments earlier. I think it goes without saying that this was literally, without doubt, the most embarrassing moment of my entire life!
Upon arriving at the doctors office with the leather seat owning co-worker I sat with my doctor who says, "things like this almost never happen." No shit doc! Less than six hours later Jackson Tyler Beard was welcomed to the world. Guess somebody was in a hurry!