Mommy's Juice!: Seriously - You Can Eat Off of These Floors!   

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Seriously - You Can Eat Off of These Floors!

My husband always jokes about how weird it was when we were leaving the hospital two days after the birth of our first son Jackson and the nurse who walked us out to the car said, "have fun with your baby!"  I don't think he had even considered the fact that we were about to be completely on our own with this new (screaming) creature until she left us standing alone in the parking lot with that sentence and a smile.  On our own and completely unprepared!


Oh sure, we were prepared with things like a crib, diapers, cute little onsies and special baby soaps.  All the things you actually think about and plan in advance.  What we weren't prepared for was what exactly to do with this 6 pound 12 ounce bundle of barf and belly-aching.  Some call it colic, some call it gas, I call it HELL.  For the nearly 12 hours per day that Jackson was awake, I'll estimate he cried at least 11 hours and 14 minutes of it!  I was literally losing my mind.

Scared to take him anywhere I felt chained to my house, watching hour after hour of Beverly Hills 90210 and The OC reruns at full blast to hear over his racket.  We tried everything to stop the crying: long drives in the car, long walks in the stroller, music, swings, and my personal favorite: the vacuum cleaner.  I read that the noise could help, and believe it or not, it did!  Not to mention, my floor was never so spotless.  Eventually we'd just turn the damn thing on and leave it in a corner for hours at a time, just to get the kid to stop wailing.  He'd sit in his swing, screaming his head off, and as soon as the vacuum started, he'd silence.

I eventually downloaded a full CD of just vacuum noise, but it just didn't have the same effect as the real thing. At this point, a $500 electricity bill didn't sound so bad compared to the sound of the devil wailing in my ear every waking minute.  And so it continued, full nights of a vacuum running to keep the kid asleep, full days of my running outside to talk on the phone because the noise in the house was too deafening to hear the party on the other line, but the baby was asleep!

At around four months the "colic" had passed and the crying went from 50% of the day to around 5.  My sanity had been tested in a way it had never been tested before and I came out on top, well maybe a litter grayer on top, but on top nonetheless.  A year later as I was dropping Jackson at daycare one of the teachers was vacuuming the room.  He ran to the door screaming "bots, bots, bots (his baby word for vacuum)."  His teacher laughed turning off the machine and told me, "Jackson just loves it when we vacuum, he is so fascinated by it."   Why am I not the least bit surprised?

19 comments:

  1. I really don't know what it is about vacuum cleaners either but it worked to calm my daughter too. She now pushes the little red dirt devil I have around while I'm vacuuming with the other. Go figure lol I am so glad you shared this, it's a cute story.. I am your newest Facebook fan! Have a great day.

    ~Debra
    debrasdollars.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. None of mine had colic but I sure do sympathize with those who do. It was hard enough with babies who didn't have colic!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's cute that he still loves the vacuum. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to have a baby with colic, not to mention exhausting. My daughter didn't have colic, and I found the newborn days to be soooo brutal. Yay for you for making it through in one piece (except for a few grey hairs!) :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. NO one ever officially diagnosed my kid with colic... just reflux. But he still cried all the time. The vacuum was amazing, as were a few other tricks we learned. Yes, we got home from the hospital and lets just say it was a steep learning curve!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll just bet we tried most of them! Fun stuff!!

      Delete
  5. When my daughter was a baby, she did have colic, and yes, I was about to pull my hair out from the frustration. We also used white noise to calm her down. Our magic appliance was the electric fan. I'm not sure if that consumes less electricity than a vacuum cleaner, though :).

    ReplyDelete
  6. LOL! I can so relate to this. My little niece was like that and turning on the bathroom vent also worked for her

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so lucky I am not dealing with colic!! I have heard more than one horror story about it and now this one and I thank my lucky stars I am not dealing with THAT but with twins.... I know you had it worse though after being around parents of babies with colic! But how ingenious you are to figure out the vacuum cleaner would keep him asleep. Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hah! Loved this article (and sorry that you had to suffer through Colic). Your writing made me laugh though.

    Our son was so in love w/the vacuum we took a picture of him w/it and put it in his baby book, lolol.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My kids hated the vacuum or any loud noise!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You deserve a prize! You survived!! I am fortunate that my twins were not affected by colic - but I have seen it in action and just want to say you survived with a sense of humor in tact - and that's great!
    Leigh
    www.oneandoneequalstwinfun.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A sense of humor and a ton of grey hairs & wrinkles!

      Delete
  11. Putting them on the dryer in their car seat doubles for driving them around. The first 6 month are the hardest and you survived. Yeah You!

    ReplyDelete
  12. My daughter used to love the vac noise. She likes to vac the stairs now (which I detest) so maybe you have a future cleaner on your hands :) Either way, kudos for surviving. My daughter never had colic, but a vibrating bouncer helped calm her down and lull her into a sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I wish the vacuum would work. She doesn't cry much, but she doesn't sleep much.

    Stopping by from Bloggy Moms.

    April @ 100lbcountdown.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. I agree with saying colic is HELL for real. I had twins and they BOTH had colic I thought I would never ever ever make it. Somehow I did though and decided it would be fun to have two more kids along the way LOL. I like your blog I came over here from Bloggy Moms.
    Patricia @ http://thettdiaries.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete