Mommy's Juice!: Friday Funnies 8.17   

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Friday Funnies 8.17

This week's winners for the funniest moments go to:

Hubby: "Where are the kids?"
Me: "I got rid of them"
Hubby: "How much did you get?"
Me: "I had to pay."

Jackson as I'm undressing in the changing room at the pool, "Wow, you really don't have a penis!"

Taking two kids to Costco = BAD IDEA
As Trey is throwing the giant package of towels out of the cart I scream: "That is not funny Trey"
while the man walking by us laughing hysterically says, "yes it is!"

Two examples of when bribery backfires:
1. I joined Jackson's class for a picnic in the park.  As I was getting up to leave Jackson got upset and was crying for me to stay.  Having to get back to work I told him, "if you can stop crying and be good for your teacher the rest of the day when I pick you up we can go to the store and you can pick out WHATEVER you want for dinner."
Insert teacher's big mouth, "Oh Jackson you should chose sushi!"
Insert angry mom's response, "are you paying?  Then shut up!"

2. As Jackson is literally screaming his head off at the dentist while they are trying to clean his teeth I make the promise, "Jackson if you quit screaming we can make brownies when we get home."  Ten minutes later I'm informed he has a cavity and have the nurse say jokingly, "maybe those brownies aren't such a good idea after all."  Thanks for that great advice!

While at a work dinner at a Board Member's home I get a call from my husband.  Assuming it was an emergency I answer to hear Jackson on the other line tell me a VERY detailed story that ended with, "and I pooped on the potty and guess what?  It was bigger than Daddy's!"  After telling him how proud I was I hang up only to have the entire dinner party ask me what he had done.
Prepare to loose your appetites everyone!

Have a great (and funny) weekend!


  1. Buwhaahha, the brownies thing is classic. Loved these. :)

  2. So funny! You should be in a reality show or something :). I loved the dentist part the best :)

    1. Some days I feel like I am in a reality show! Thx for stopping by.

  3. Super funny! I especially love the sushi line! Bribes should not really cost the parent for goodness sake. :) btw - I just took one of mine to the dentist today to have a cavity filled.

    1. That makes me feel better. I've never had a cavity in my life so I felt like a terrible mom when they told me my four year old had one. Even worse since of course I had just bribed him w/a brownie!

  4. So funny! I can just see the looks on the faces of the dinner party guests! Oh, and don't you just love how "helpful" others are at the store?

    1. Yes, a very professional topic for the dinner table! Thanks for stopping by!

  5. These are so funny I know you couldn't make up better stuff if you tried. I love the things kids come up with. Thanks for the laughs I totally needed it today.