Mommy's Juice!: Supposinoooory!!   

Friday, July 27, 2012

Supposinoooory!!

EDITOR'S NOTE: THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTO
IN THE UNIVERSE APPROPRIATE FOR THIS POST!!

Four mother eff'ing years old and you still haven't mastered pooping on the potty!!!  This is the freaking nightmare I am living everyday. And quite frankly, I'm over it!  So over it, that I decided to stray from the doctor's advice of avoiding the dreaded suppository.

This decision was based less on my own extensive medical experience (yes, that is a joke) and more on the fact that Jackson's preschool had threatened to make him stay home on Wednesdays, the day his class went to the local pool for swimming lessons.  After a long discussion with the pre-school director on the "consequences" of Jackson pooping in the pool, I could only agree with their decision and promise to do my best before letting him continue with the classes.

The Tuesday night following said discussion I was aware that "Mr. Four Year Old That Doesn't Seem to Care That He Still Is Driving Mom & Dad Crazy With the Potty Training Process" needed a hard lesson and this lesson was coming in the backdoor to clear Mr. Out!!

Five minutes into this very adult decision I felt a regret that I have never felt before in my life. Open to the "medicine" mom was offering, Jackson followed all of mommy's instructions, right up until that suppository was removed from his behind.  At that point began a screaming I have to imagine is reserved for child abuse of the worst degree, followed by an extreme type of kicking I am certain karate instructors can only wish they were able to teach their students.

An hour into this mess, as I sit praying for forgiveness for giving my child this evil poison that has turned him into an evil version of Gage from Pet Sematary, I witness the biggest of big, the largest of large, the most ginormous of gigantic poops I have ever seen one person release from their bodies emerge from my toddler son.  Thrilled this ordeal is over, yet utterly freaked out by what I have witnessed, I breath easily and realize, "I now have the ultimate good behavior bargaining tool just waiting in the bathroom cabinet!"

13 comments:

  1. OMG, too funny! Found you through VB.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha! My 3 1/2 year old will not poop on the potty either. He did once. We took a picture of it. I'm over it as well! We look at the picture and reminisce about how proud we all were. No luck.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG, I'm not looking forward to that with my daughter! Stopping by from the Finding New Friends blog hop! Am now a new follower:) Would love if you could check out my blog:
    http://crazy-mama-drama.blogspot.com/
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Mama-Drama/259491484156846

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh wow. We are just beginning to train my 2 1/2 year old. Looks like I may be doing this awhile. :/

    ReplyDelete
  5. I had the same problem out of my daughter (who is 11 now). Turns out...she was always getting impacted from "holding it in". It's a psychological thing...and now...she has the worst cases of constipation everrrrrrrrrrrr....because she will still hold it in. At ELEVENFRICKIN years old!! I'm just thankful we got past the pooping in the panties stage years ago. And let me tell you...it's so bad sometimes that I really worry about her health (because of course, MY child is the weirdo that regular poop meds do not work on...not even suppositories). I feel for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thx for sharing April. Total psychological thing (for him & me at this point!).

      Delete
  6. Three out of four of my children were easy to train. My youngest hasn't been. Hang in there, it'll happen. Easy words to say, I know. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Andrea... I wish I could say "Been there done that", but even with a 25, 21 (boys or rather men) and a 5 1/2 little girl who by the way is proving to be a candidate for law school... I have never.... Holy cray is right! :) Apparently this is a more common problem than I had ever thought. My prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My older son refused to poop in the potty for a long time. He was fully potty-trained otherwise, but when he had to poop he would ask me to put a diaper on him. Gross. It wasn't until he was 3.5 and we found the perfect bribery--10 minutes of Angry Birds on the ipad when he pooped in the potty. He never went back after that. Your guy will get there, too. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like that bribe! Thanks for the advice!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Can't even imagine the frustration on both ends - parents/child, that is ;)
    We go through the anxiety of "making it happen" because the nugget is so big!! For some time, however, we've incorporated probiotics into her diet (4 yrs) and it works!!! Works, every time...every day.
    Activia - if he eats yogurt, this is a no-brainer.

    ReplyDelete