You know how you have some stories that just never get old? Ones you tell your friends over and over and they continually ask you to repeat at parties? At some point I think you get tired of hearing yourself tell them. I’m totally over throwing out all the details on how I got the head cheerleader kicked-off the squad in high school. I’d rather talk about politics than have to tell the story of how I was “banned for life” from a certain nightclub for my not-so-nice behavior. And please don’t ask me about the time my mom yelled at me while I was in jail, everyone has certainly heard that enough times.
Another story that my friends find quite humorous took place shortly after my husband and I started dating. Today I will share this one with you, but from here on out it too will enter the vault of “enough already.” At some point people are going to start thinking I make this stuff up!
When my husband Travis and I first started dating, I was working as the Front Desk Supervisor at an athletic club. A few days a week my shift would actually start at 5:30am in the morning. For me it might as well have been 4am, anything before the sun is up is completely unreasonable.
Travis conveniently lived about a mile from the athletic club, while I lived fifteen minutes away. When you have to get up that early you try to save as much time as you can, so I often stayed at his place to allow myself those twelve extra glorious minutes of sleep. My wake-up routine consisted of putting on my clothes, throwing my hair in a pony tail, brushing my teeth and walking out of the door. Showers, make-up and the rest could wait.
Living in a studio apartment at the time, Travis’ place was equipped with only the very basics. There was no separate living room so we would hang out on his bed. When I would go to sleep early to get as many winks as I could, he would stay up beside me watching television until he fell asleep. As I said, we hadn’t been dating that long when I decided to stay one night to save myself a little time, so we were really still in the “getting to know you” phase. One of the things I had gotten to know thus far was that Travis had a HUGE sweet tooth. He would literally sit down after dinner and eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry’s, often with extra candy thrown in for fun. On this particular night it was a Hershey bar that had caught his attention as I started to drift off.
When I woke to the alarm at around 5:22am the next morning, approximately eight minutes before I had to open the club, I ran to the bathroom to start my routine. With eyes barely opened I ran the brush through my hair. Well, partially through my hair. I immediately hit what must have been the biggest tangle in history. I pulled to no avail and finally opened my eyes up enough to see: a giant Hershey Bar melted to the side of my head!
Apparently Travis had passed out in the night, Hershey bar in hand, hand on top of the side of my head. What could I do? There was no time for a shower, no time for a haircut. I had no choice but to put on my uniform, rush to work, and sit there like I just got in from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I’m sure you can imagine the faces of these health nuts, arriving to the sight (and smell) of my new hair accessory.
Oddly enough, I didn’t break up with Travis like I had imagined doing that entire morning at work. We have laughed about that story so many times it’s actually made the embarrassment of the situation totally worth it. So go ahead, have a laugh at my expense, I’m retiring the story anyway.