Why is it that men are so stupid? Do they not understand that leaving incriminating text messages on their phones is not a good idea? Did they not see what happened to Tiger Woods? I’ve had a few tearful conversations recently with girls who’ve discovered more than they wanted to, all from a text check on the hubby’s phone.
So men, not that I’m on your side or anything, but DELETE THE DAMN EVIDENCE! Do not trust your wives to give you privacy. We will read your text messages when you aren’t looking. We will also listen in at the door you have closed when you want to have a private conversation. We’ll check your Facebook page regularly to see what new “friends’ you’ve made and we’ll double check what you are chatting about. Sorry, we can’t help it, it’s just a part of who we are. Just like you can’t control the urge to scratch your balls in public, we can’t control the urge to see exactly what it is you are up too.
Honestly, the only thing I’ve found on my husband’s phone is a back and forth game with his younger brother where they see who can send the most quotes from Slap Shot. As for his Facebook page, the only interesting thing going on there are harmless conversations with his ex-girlfriend from High School. Turns out she married one of their high school friends, has three kids now and is little Ms. Facebook, checking-in often to see how my hubby’s doing.
I'm actually the one that set up my husband’s Facebook page. He really had no interest in it. In fact, he very rarely even checks it, so from time to time I go in for him, announce across the room who wants to be his friend and read off any new messages. As I was doing this a few weeks back the ex popped up on instant chat with “hi, how’s it going?” Well of course I decided to have a little fun with it! I replied back with what I thought my husband would say, “everything sucks, how are you?”
So began a back and forth harmless chat with me throwing in at least three compliments about what a fabulous wife I had. Then out of nowhere she hits me with, “I asked (my husband) to move out. Things were getting out of hand. I actually have a restraining order against him.” Ummm…this isn’t what I signed up for!
So I ponder: do I reply, do I tell my husband what I’ve been up too and let him reply, do I sign off and have her think my husband couldn’t give a crap about her troubles? This is a tricky one, but in the end I decided (for once) to do the right thing.
“Um, honey, your ex just popped up on chat.”
“No, I think you should come see what she has to say.”
(dramatic pause as he notices the correspondence that has been taking place for about 20 minutes at this point)
“What the hell have you been doing?”
Lesson learned honey, I can’t be controlled, my nosey nature is like an addiction and your technology is my heroin. Luckily, from what I’ve read so far, I don’t see in our immediate future your car against a tree while I run down the driveway with a golf club!