Mommy's Juice!: Delete the Damn Evidence!   

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Delete the Damn Evidence!

Why is it that men are so stupid?  Do they not understand that leaving incriminating text messages on their phones is not a good idea?  Did they not see what happened to Tiger Woods?  I’ve had a few tearful conversations recently with girls who’ve discovered more than they wanted to, all from a text check on the hubby’s phone. 

So men, not that I’m on your side or anything, but DELETE THE DAMN EVIDENCE!  Do not trust your wives to give you privacy.  We will read your text messages when you aren’t looking.  We will also listen in at the door you have closed when you want to have a private conversation.  We’ll check your Facebook page regularly to see what new “friends’ you’ve made and we’ll double check what you are chatting about.  Sorry, we can’t help it, it’s just a part of who we are.  Just like you can’t control the urge to scratch your balls in public, we can’t control the urge to see exactly what it is you are up too.  

Honestly, the only thing I’ve found on my husband’s phone is a back and forth game with his younger brother where they see who can send the most quotes from Slap Shot.  As for his Facebook page, the only interesting thing going on there are harmless conversations with his ex-girlfriend from High School.  Turns out she married one of their high school friends, has three kids now and is little Ms. Facebook, checking-in often to see how my hubby’s doing. 

I'm actually the one that set up my husband’s Facebook page.  He really had no interest in it.  In fact, he very rarely even checks it, so from time to time I go in for him, announce across the room who wants to be his friend and read off any new messages.  As I was doing this a few weeks back the ex popped up on instant chat with “hi, how’s it going?”  Well of course I decided to have a little fun with it!  I replied back with what I thought my husband would say, “everything sucks, how are you?” 

So began a back and forth harmless chat with me throwing in at least three compliments about what a fabulous wife I had.  Then out of nowhere she hits me with, “I asked (my husband) to move out.  Things were getting out of hand.  I actually have a restraining order against him.”  Ummm…this isn’t what I signed up for!

So I ponder: do I reply, do I tell my husband what I’ve been up too and let him reply, do I sign off and have her think my husband couldn’t give a crap about her troubles?  This is a tricky one, but in the end I decided (for once) to do the right thing. 
“Um, honey, your ex just popped up on chat.”
“No, I think you should come see what she has to say.”
“Just look.”
(dramatic pause as he notices the correspondence that has been taking place for about 20 minutes at this point)
“What the hell have you been doing?”

Lesson learned honey, I can’t be controlled, my nosey nature is like an addiction and your technology is my heroin.  Luckily, from what I’ve read so far, I don’t see in our immediate future your car against a tree while I run down the driveway with a golf club!


  1. Hysterical!! Brad's ex from high school asked to be my friend on FB and I had no idea who she was. I asked him.. and his response:
    Brad:'Oh, yeh -- she has come down with a terrible disease.'
    Me: OMG! Really?? What??
    Brad: It's called lard ass!
    Me: haha! That's terrible!

  2. Teeheehee!! You got me laughing over here :D

    <3-Cami from First Day of My Life

  3. Lol! That is too funny! I've check the Mr.'s texts all the time...but all I've ever found are back & forth about car stuff. Borrrring hahaha ;)

  4. That sounds like my fiance and I. haha. He couldn't care less about facebook, and always has me check it for him!

    I'm a new follower from the hop. Hope you can stop by!

  5. So true! I check my partner's phone and FB from time to time and am always a little afraid of what I might find. Nothing incriminating so far :)

    New follower. Stopping by from Mingle Monday!

    The Twerp and I

  6. I love that article. I also set up a facebook account for my hubby, who also has no interest in it. So I check it to see if any "old friends" pop up.

  7. LOL this is so funny! new follow from the blog hop. :)

  8. Stopping by from vB hop!

  9. Guilty as charged! Shh, don't tell my husband!

  10. Interesting topic... hmm... I don't know which one I prefer more, actually. For them to delete (which makes them 'too smart' and 'too inconspicuous' to detect if they are indeed doing something they're not supposed to be doing), or for them to NOT delete (which, as you said, is a recipe for disaster, especially if they are doing something they're not supposed to be doing).

    In any case, really enjoyed this post! I think it's a great topic and something that we all could relate to. Thanks for linking up at Thoughtful Thursday blog hop. Am now a follower :)

  11. Stopping by from a blog hop and this was really too funny. I know we do it and wish we were more secure, but we aren't so we do. At least, we admit it. I am a new follower thru GFC and would love a follow back when you get a chance. Thanks so much and have a great day! By the way, loved the bear story too!


  12. Very funny! I loved the last part. It's totally something my husband would catch me doing.

    I'm semi-obsessed with things and when I'm bored that isn't a good thing! So I usually know when his last ex has a new fling and all that BS and I have no problem sharing it with him.

    He usually isn't as excited/caring as me though! haha gah... I need to grow out of being a nosy girl!