Mommy's Juice!: The Friday Funnies   

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Friday Funnies

I was thinking back on this past week trying to decide what would be a good topic to write about today.  So many funny things popped to mind that I wanted to share, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on one in particular to write an entire blog about.  Hence, I share with you the first ever Margs for Mommy Friday Funnies!  The Friday Funnies will include a small sample of conversations, random thoughts and occurrences, and other tidbits that have helped make my week go by with a smile.  I hope they bring a smile to your face as well!

Doctor: “Jackson, you deserve TWO scoops of ice cream for being as good as you have today.”
Me: “Shut up Doc!”

Do you think the deflated elephant pool in the front yard with an inch of dirt water in it is an eyesore for the neighbors?

I took my 3-year old to see his very first movie: Winnie the Pooh.  For movies that boring they should totally have seat lights available for parents so we can read a book or magazine, instead of being tortured by Christopher Robin and a bunch of talking stuffed animals.

Furthermore, I am ASTOUNDED at how much it costs to take 3-year old to the movies.  Seriously $7/a ticket, $5.50 for a SMALL popcorn and $4 for a SMALL drink!  I almost told him he’d just have to run out to the water fountain anytime he got thirsty.  Lesson learned: sneak it all in next time!

 3-year old: "My tummy hurts, I need a band-aid..."

Does pushing two kids simultaneously on swings for the full forty five minutes they are requesting equal a good upper body workout?  What if in between pushes you’re lifting a beer bottle to your mouth?  That has to count, right?

Last night I dreamt that Bruce Jenner was the assistant host to Bob Barker on The Price is Right.  What does that mean??

What I don’t like about living in Colorado: four borders and not one of them is on an ocean.  I need my toes in the water, ass in the sand!

Having one of those little shopping carts they put out for kids run into the back of your leg with all the force a three year old can muster, seriously freaking hurts!

Discovery of the Week: Did you know McDonalds chocolate shakes are actually vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce mixed in?  Did you further know that their vanilla ice cream is low in fat?  I feel so cheated.  From now on it’s back to Wendy’s Frosty’s.

Husband: "For as bas as they are, at least they have penises."



  1. Funny! I laughed at everything, except Bruce Jenner! I had a dream about him a couple of months ago, he was trying to get me to divorce my husband and let him be my children's new father! I had to stop watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians after that!

  2. That is too funny Mom4Real!!!

  3. LOL! Very nice. Thanks for stopping by my blog! :)

  4. I knew there was a reason I didn't like McDonald's ice's strictly Chick Fil A milkshakes for me from now on...

  5. That was funny! Thank you making me giggle this afternoon! I would imagine that a grocery cart hitting you from behind would hurt so much...ouch!~

  6. Hi! Very cute post. We are lucky to have a $5 theater nearby. I am a new follower from the weekend hop! So glad I found your blog! Please stop by to say hi & return follow! :)

  7. New GFC follower-kport207 from the hop. Would love for you to come visit my blog and follow in return.

    Thanks :)

  8. Thanks for following my blog! This post is seriously funny so I know I will love your blog! Following you back!