Sitting at dinner the other night I looked over at my three year old son and noticed the tan he’s already picked up this summer. I must say, that tan with his big blue eyes and blonde hair having him looking pretty darn good. Beware girls of the class of 2026, I’ve got a looker coming your way. Actually maybe it’s the dad of the girls of the class of ’26 that should look out. But I digress….
Is it wrong that I felt a ping of jealousy when I noticed that tan? I, here in late June, look like Casper the Unfriendly, pale-ass ghost. Mind you, I’m a southerner who lived out her pre-teen/early teen years in the 80s. These were the days of baby oil and bikinis. Bad weather day, no worries, the tanning bed had you covered. Sun spots and skin cancer weren’t concerns yet. Our only concern was whether or not we turned enough times to keep that golden glow even.
Of course these days going to a tanning bed is a total no-no and baby oil a thing of the past. Yes, I do wear sunscreen on the rare days I get to spend outside, but I must admit, I stick to a 20 spf or lower. I’m sorry, but the baby butt pale white thing is only working for women like Nicole Kidman and Gwenyth Paltrow. I’m more Snooki or JWow, without some sort of tan I’m a total grenade.
Don’t worry, I do use spf 50 on the boys, leaving them safe from sunburn but with just enough missing spf to let them get that crisp tan that had me seething with jealousy at the moment. As I sat there looking at his smiling tan face my jealousy began to turn to anger. Why should I have to work all week while he goes to daycare and plays at the park, takes swimming lessons, goes on picnics and enjoys the sunny days of summer on my bill? This just straight up isn’t fair. That little brat needs to get a … “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I am brought out of my furious inner rage by my son trying to get my attention to tell me about the shark that was at the pool today. A very big shark, who was friends with a whale, but the whale couldn’t come in the pool because he was too dirty.
Suddenly all jealousy and anger were gone. I may not be tan, but I am lucky, lucky to be able to provide a positive, fun, learning environment for my son, where he can enjoy the lazy days of summer and fill me in on them each night when I get home from the office. He’s enjoying his childhood as I would hope he would. And I, while a sickly looking version of my younger self, am thankful I had that time as a child as well.
Wonder how much a spray tan costs?????