Sweet Dreams

I think my favorite sound in the world is to hear my son laughing in his sleep. I get to hear this often since at 4-years old Jackson still seems to find his way into Mommy & Daddy's room at some terrible hour nearly every night. When I hear the laugh I lay and wonder, what in the world is he dreaming about? Is he dreaming of playing with friends, hearing the dog fart (that one always gets him going when he's awake), eating a worm, pulling a trick on his little brother? What could be so funny??

I'll often ask him once he's awake if he can remember his dreams, only to be given a long drawn out tale of something he is obviously making up on the spot. I know this because these stories always include whatever items in the room that he is looking at any given point.

Then I'll start to wonder if I ever laugh out loud during my dreams. Which leads me into the process of trying to remember my dreams. Which further leads me into an analysis of whether or not I might need a psychiatrist! Where in the world do these dreams come from? Should I be scared?

Don't get me wrong, my dreams are harmless. Some of the recurring themes include walking long distances, realizing I am failing my college classes and forgetting someones birthday. Or wait, maybe that one is actually not a dream. Anyways... like I said, they are harmless. But WACKY! Last night I had to bail a co-worker out of jail. Turns out she's a closet drunk, or at least in my dream she's a closet drunk. Now do you think there is any chance I am going to be able to look at her the same way again after what we went through at 3am this morning in my head? Then there is the girl I kissed in a dream once. Think we're still friends?

And as I recall all of these crazy dreams I notice, not one of them is funny. Scary, disturbing, boring, but not funny. So for Jackson I wish those late night laughs to continue for as long as they can. Because before too long I'm sure they'll change to screams or late night profanity! Sweet dreams baby  boy!

I'm Taking These Boys to the Ghetto

In "the bubble" at the Denver Aquarium.
Needless to say they live in their own little bubble as it is!

I've always wondered if my kids aren't a bit sheltered. Living in a small mountain town in Colorado they don't get to see or experience a lot of the things that I did growing up in North Carolina. Hell, our town doesn't even have a fast food joint! I mean, what kid doesn't stop by McDonald's at least once a week? Granted there is one down the highway a bit, but this is "special treat" territory.

My husband always tells me my fear of their isolation is dumbfounded and reminds me how lucky they are to grow up in such an amazing place. "Besides," he says "they'll learn plenty from television." Yeah, that's great, so far thanks to television they know how to make swiper stop swiping and what dragons to look out for when they are sailing their ships to Neverland.

Last weekend we took the boys to Denver and it became very clear to me that I am correct, and my boys could use a little more "real-world" experience. Just a few of the instances that lead me to this conclusion:

- When laying eyes on a (not-so-nice) high rise apartment building Jackson says, "Look mommy, its jail!"

- Jackson got out of bed at least four times in the night to peak out of the hotel window and confirm that the workmen below were in fact, still working on the road construction. He was amazed that work actually takes place after dark.

- Trey walked up to a homeless man and stole "snacks" from him to feed the birds. I tried to explain stealing isn't nice, especially when you are stealing from someone with no teeth who smells like last years laundry.

- Explaining the concept of a cab to these boys was as easy as explaining Einstein's Theory of General Relativity. They just weren't getting it!

- It is utterly unimaginable to Jackson that people can actually live in a building with no yard. I think he called me a liar more than once.

So it's official, I'm ready to pack these boys up and move them to the ghetto. It's time these boys start learning about real life. It's not all ski dates and backpacks boys. There's a tough world out there. And just as soon as mommy finishes her glass of Pinot by the fire we're headed out!

We'll Never Hear "Toot" Again

I have a two-year old who is fully convinced that he is four. Ask him how old he is, he answers "four." No you're only two you say, "no, I four," he replies. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that his actual four year old brother can do that he can't. Jackson climbs up the big slide, Trey is right behind him climbing up. Jackson walks, Trey demands to get out of the stroller and walk beside him. Jackson opens a door, and we have to wait for it to close again so Trey can push with all his might to open it himself.

While cute, this phenomenon can also be terribly annoying. Needless to say, while he can do a lot of the things his older brother can do, many he can't or worse, shouldn't. Like at the amusement park when Jackson climbed up the 40' bounce slide and my little one was right behind him every step, then launched himself down in a terrifying flip which turned every head in the park in my direction with their disapproving looks. Or when he saw Jackson jumping off the side of the pool into the deep end and immediately followed suit without considering the fact that HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!

The sad thing is, we are missing so many of the cute firsts that we enjoyed with Jackson when he was two. Trey just skipped them! No cute pictures of this kid in an inflatable dinosaur at the pool, he'll attempt to navigate the waters on his own. No watching Chicka together on Sprout, he jumped straight into Nickelodeon. No hearing Trey start to put words together, he went straight into full sentences. My husband summed this up over the weekend with the following comment said almost tearfully, "we'll never get to hear Trey say toot, he went straight into fart." 

Enjoy it while you can!

Damn You Pinterest!

I wasn't going to do it. I had too many social media accounts to manage as it was. I don't like crafts, I can't cook and home decorating isn't in my budget! No way were you going to find me on Pinterest. And then....

It was recommended to me that I create a Pinterest account for the organization I work for. Not having a clue how Pinterest works I decided to play around on a personal account before screwing something up with  the company's name on it. Assuming of course that I'd spend an hour or so with my own tutorial and then leave the account never to be opened again while I focused on the one I had to create.

Little did I know how unbelievably addictive this little website could be. My one hour tutorial turned into a straight three hours in front of my screen. Followed by an extremely long late-night session after I got the kids in bed that night. This was a week ago and since then not only do I have over 150 pins, I'VE ACTUALLY USED THEM!

Me, who never crafts, painting the legs on my kitchen table this weekend. Me, who normally throws the kids artwork in the garbage actually dedicated a wall in my dining room as their "masterpiece" display. Me, who considers coloring in a coloring book perfectly fine art for the kids, sat on the floor and painted mason jars with my son which we turned into nightlights. Me, who hates to cook, well I still hate to cook, but I did hand over some yummy recipes to the hubby to make.

How you may ask, could someone without an ounce of creativity in her bones pull this off? Because this website makes it so damn easy! My husband has no idea what to think. But he likes it. My kids aren't sure if they should still call me Mommy. But they are having fun. I too am not exactly sure why it is I can't seem to spend more than a few hours away from the Pinterest screen. But I sure as hell hope you'll join me at the party: http://pinterest.com/andrearbeard//!

Through the Eyes of a 4-Year Old

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all see through the eyes of a four year old? So often my son will comment on something he see's and I will think to myself, "he must be out of his little mind!" But in hindsight, maybe I'm the one out of my mind, because it is clear that he sees things in a much better light. For instance:

Seeing Cameron Diaz on television:
Jackson says: "Look, Aunt Heather is on television."
I see: That its obvious my sister is skinnier and prettier than I am.

Seeing a Lexus pull-up beside us:
Jackson says: "Look Mommy that car looks just like yours."
I see: A car that is clean, has no dents and costs about $30,000 more than my piece of junk.

Waking up to see snow on the ground:
Jackson says, "Isn't is beautiful!"
I see: A fantastic drive to work in my future.

Watching his Dad make hot dogs for dinner:
Jackson says, "Yipppeee!"
I see: An empty bank account

Watching NASCAR on television:
Jackson says, "This is so cool!"
I see: My son at age 25 sitting on a couch and drinking beer with no shirt on.

Looking at me, when absolutely exhausted but pulling through:
Jackson says, "You're the best mommy ever!"
I see: The love of my life in front of me.