Mommy's Juice!   

Friday, October 9, 2015

What Is This Place???

Living in the rural mountains of Colorado, a trip to the city with my kids is always an adventure! We try to get down to Denver a few times each year for a football game or visit to the zoo, and every time they are amazed by the most common things. (Don't even get me started on the day that they realized some McDonalds had playgrounds!)

Our latest trip introduced them to something most of you probably visit on a weekly basis:

Jackson (as he stares in wonder): "Mom, what is this place?"

Me (in my, "what are you stupid" tone of voice): "It's a mall."

Trey (also staring in wonder): "Have I ever been to one of these before?"

Me (after thinking for a long time): "No, I guess you haven't."

How can I have a 7 year old son who has NEVER been to a mall? Granted, normally I try to leave the kids with their Dad when I go shopping in the big city, but really, these guys don't know what a mall is? How are these my children!!! 

By the time they realized the mall was full of goodies like merry-go-rounds, an indoor putt-putt course and a video arcade, they thought they had died and gone to Heaven. And I must admit, so did I. Having these things to keep them busy while I ran up my credit card balance at the Gap, Express, Victoria's Secret and multiple shoe stores was a lot like Heaven to me too.

We left with them begging to go back the next day, which I was more than happy to oblige, and headed to our hotel only to be asked:

Trey: "What is that yellow thing with all the writing on the side and why are those people getting in the back seat?"

We seriously have to get out more!

Thursday, October 1, 2015


As mad as I was, I couldn't help but laugh when this apology came through:

For those of you who aren't able to read the handwriting of a
six year old who knows he's in deep doo doo:

Sore = Sorry
Ped = Peed
Hefer = Never
Closit = Closet 
Agine = Again

How could you not smile? He still has to do the dishes for a month though!

Monday, August 24, 2015

Why I Drink Wine

1. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
2. I own a 1 year old lab who enjoys chewing my shoes, eating my groceries and sleeping on top of my head.
3. Wine is cheaper than therapy.
4. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
5. It tastes good with the hot dogs I serve twice a week.
6. It also tastes good with burgers, tacos, french fries and my signature "pizza from the frozen foods section"
7. Health benefits, duh!
8. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
9. Wine tends to improve my dance moves, as well as my singing voice.
10. I have a job. Work makes me thirsty.
11. Lifting a wine glass is much easier than lifting a weight.
12. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
13. It's classy, well classier than Bud Light.
14. I find enjoyment in spinning the stem of my wine glass.
15. I don't have to mix things.
16. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.
17. My lips and tongue look good with a little red tint.
18. I tend to be friendlier (or should I just say friendly) with a little juice in the belly.
19. It expands my creativity, just look at how amazing this post is!
20. I have two kids ages 7 and 4.

Why do  you drink wine? Let me know and CHEERS to you!

Thursday, August 20, 2015

45 Going On 3

Have I mentioned that I'm the mom of a 4-year old going on 17, a 7-year old going on 30 and a 45-year old going on 3. They don't need a mom, they need a parole officer! But unfortunately I don't have a criminal justice degree and really don't like the look of bars on my windows, so I guess the title "mom" will have to stay. 

"Dad" (ie the 3 year old) is helpful, in a "happy to fix that shower head," kind of way. What Dad is not, is responsible! Which has made this summer an utter nightmare for "mom." After an entire three months with two boys all over the place he still can't seem to remember basic essentials to summer parenting. Such as:

- Sunscreen is a necessary evil of sending your child outside
- A day at the swimming pool is not the equivalent of having a bath
- Camping is no excuse for not brushing your teeth for three days
- Beer is not for breakfast just because mom wants to have some time to herself
- When camp sends home a permission slip it needs to be signed, not left in your truck for two weeks

So while I've been packing lunches, sorting towels, tennis shoes or flip flops, making sure one kid hits the park by 8am and the other soccer at 10, Dad could be found in his man cave (ie our garage) hiding from what he doesn't know. Maybe I should consider that a blessing though considering I've got new shelves in the garage and the door handle is fixed! I guess we all have our talents.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

We've Gotta Get Out More!

Living far from family is a bummer. You miss hanging out with them, you miss their home cooking, you miss free baby-sitting.... Okay, so it's the free baby sitting I miss the most, can you blame me? Unfortunately I still haven't been able to find reliable baby sitters. They've all come and gone faster than I can get the kids to remember their names. Which makes a night out for the hubby and I a mere illusion of something that happened a long, long time ago.

Recently I did a favor for one of my son's teachers and in return she offered to baby sit. Normally the only time I go out of my way to schedule a sitter is if Travis or I have a work commitment. With no work commitments on the horizon I realized we could actually take the night to do WHATEVER WE WANTED!!!! And what I wanted, more than anything, was dinner and a movie. 

The last time we went to dinner and movie was in 2007. Yes, 2007! When we got into the theater my husband sat down in one of their cush seats and asked, "when did they get these?" Uh... three years ago. (I only know this because I've taken a few naps in the seats for such wonderful performances as The Lego Movie).

We went to see Gone Girl, which even with the early show didn't end until after 9pm. As we were leaving I asked Travis if he wanted to go grab a bite to eat. His response... "do you think anyone is still serving?" WE HAVE GOT TO GET OUT MORE!!!

Upon arriving to one of our favorite restaurants, for the first time with no kids on our side since Jackson was born, Travis was shocked to hear that we'd have to wait on a table. As if we were the only two people in town that could have possibly still been looking for food at that time on a Friday night!!

I ate as slowly as I could, trying to enjoy every second of the freedom I'd missed. Hell, I even made Travis hold my hand at one point, an action that would have sent our two boys in hysterics had they been there. In fact, they probably would have found the entire night funny. Why in the world would Mommy and Daddy want to hang out without us? That couldn't possibly be any fun! Guess what kiddo's - it was fun and now that I remember how fun it is to hang out WITHOUT YOU I intend to go baby sitter hunting.